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Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

Did They Drop the Nails?


The old Catholic convent smelled like smoke as we walked toward the flickering glow of small candles illuminating TVCthe altar.  Everyone had been handed a nail and most of us knew what we would be asked to do before the night was over.  It’s an annual tradition, a ritual of sorts, and a precious opportunity that only comes around on Good Friday.  Sometimes I think I would rather not go.  I came up with any number of excuses that sounded legitimate this year.  But just when I thought I had made up my mind to do something else, I felt drawn to go. 

            Our friends wanted to go with us this year and the desire to share this sacred moment with them was leading us back on the path that was now lit by tiny votive candles. 

            It was supposed to be a silent service.  But we, as a society, find it so hard to sit still, so hard to unplug, so hard to quit whispering messages to the person next to us.   When the auditorium was almost full and we had just begun to settle in and try to still our thoughts, a cell phone began to ring in the row in front of us.  The man’s wife gave him that scolding look only a wife can give a husband.   He struggled to turn it off as it rang and rang and rang.  About five minutes later, her phone began to ring and there was no stopping the laughter that came from all those around them.

          Then the ping, ping, ping of nails hitting the floor seemed just as distracting, at first.  But then I started to wonder, did they drop the nails?  Nails EdgeDid the men who crucified Jesus drop any of the nails?  Were their hands shaking in anger?  Were they shaking in fear?  How must it have felt to place that sharp point on His most perfect and innocent flesh and then raise the hammer, make contact with the head of the nail and drive it into those loving, giving, accepting, amazing, most beautiful hands?

          Our choir sang in Latin with an English translation on the large video screen.  It was amazing.  We silently read the last seven sayings of our Lord and Savior before He willingly gave up His spirit.  Tears were flowing throughout the darkened church as we each stood and walked toward the old wooden cross.  There, just beyond the altar, we each nailed our sins to the cross.  It is always the hammering that makes it almost unbearable.  Our son said he imagined the sound to be steady beats from a drum as he tried to contain his emotions while stepping forward to accept his part in the process.  No matter how many times you have heard hammering, you have not heard it like this.  It feels like the floor is moving, with our hearts pounding, and our hands shaking.  No matter how many times you participate, it feels much the same.  My sin, my shame, my fears, my failures, held Him there on that cross.

          Oh the sweet relief of communion.  The hammering finally subsided.  We ate the bread of life and drank from the fruit of the vine and it was over.  It was finished.  It was done.  He is alive.  Resurrected in all His glory and sitting at the right hand of our God.  Our debt PAID IN FULL!  Our lives begin again.  We are renewed.

          As we walk toward our cars, our friend says she has never gotten more out of an Easter service in her entire life.  We smile.  I joke that no matter how it made us feel, I will walk right out that door and sin again.  They double-check to make sure I’m not planning to sin anytime soon.  And I’m not.  But I know I will, probably even before the night is over.  He knows I will.  He knows me.  But He came to save me.  And He will save you too.   He can even save the men who crucified Him.  Did they believe in Him before their wretched job was over?  Did the earthquake, the sun going dark, the dividing curtain of the Temple ripping apart, convince them that He was and is in fact the Son of God?  Did they have extra nails?  Did they drop the nails?

Nails Edge

And Jesus said to the thief on the cross, the one who believed in him at the last-minute,the one who had sinned up until that very moment,

 “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43

© Copyright 2013, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

She and I

 

 She had an old potbelly stove that burned coal for heat.

I have a large central heating and air unit

with computerized “comfort level” programming.

She had to draw water from a well.

I have fresh running water from an underground spring

pumped to my choice of four sinks.

Mamaw edge

She had an old wooden outhouse.

I have two full bathrooms and a six-foot shower.

She never owned a car.

I’ve owned several.

She had to make her own clothes, sometimes from empty feed sacks.

I have so many clothes they barely fit in my closet and yet I often

can’t find anything to wear.

She had a washboard and a clothesline.

I have a matching washer and dryer but never seem to get all the laundry done.

She had to plow and plant her own garden and then wait for it to grow.

I have my choice of convenient super markets and organic groceries.

She had to start preparing each meal when the other one ended.

I often wait until mealtime to decide on cooking or carryout.

She scrimped and saved for the things she wanted.

I want, I get, I forget, and I want more.

She had to live when times were hard.

Time has made life easier for me.

She had a sense of satisfaction.

I sometimes complain.

She had a little scrappy Christmas tree my Papaw cut down

from the woods behind their home.

I can buy a beautiful tree and have it trimmed right at the store.

 

She gave us nuts, fruit and a drugstore doll wrapped in re-used paper.

I can buy my children the latest technology.

but I’m not sure I can ever make them as happy as my Mamaw made me.

 

Psalm 100:4-5

 ”Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;

 give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations.”

May the peace that passes all understanding be present in your lives in the days ahead.

Although our world casts shadows of doubt,

He will never leave you, nor forsake you.

It is a promise.

And He is a Promise Keeper!

Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas!! :-)

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

 

 

We’ve Got a Friend

          One of the cutest girls I have ever seen was sitting across the table from me in the coffee shop.   Her blue eyes sparkled, as short blond curls bounced around in the sunlight beaming through a wall of windows.  We had just met and I was there to mentor her.  Funny, I still feel like I need someone to show me the way.  But, I guess I am one of those “older” women described in the New Testament book of Titus…shocking as it may sound to my entire system.          

          So… we have a couple of hours of wonderful conversation, hug each other, agree to meet again and off we go.  I head to the library, boot up my computer and promptly Google this sweet little girl’s name.  If I had known what was about to pop up when I was sitting across from her, it might have changed the entire meeting.  But, as it was, her kind, sweet, humble spirit made an impression before I ever saw a video of her being crowned a beauty queen!          

          We had just had one of those mother/daughter type talks about how “nothing is ever as it appears” and here I am watching her walk the runway with that incredible crown of jewels and the big bouquet of roses.  I was so impressed…not that she had won a competition of that magnitude… but that I had just spent two hours with her and had no idea.          

          Fast forward a few weeks and we meet again for a walk and talk.  We cover every subject from the puppy she’s trying to train, to when it might be a good idea for her to think about having a baby.  Right before we make it back to our cars, we touch on the topic of Facebook.          

          Now, there’s almost 25 years difference in our ages, yet we each confess to feeling the same way.  Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, after looking at all that is going on with the hundreds of Facebook friends, we feel a little down, a little discouraged, slightly depressed.  

          There are photos of big homes, new cars and exotic vacations.  Even though we both know better, we sometimes compare ourselves with all that we see.  It might make sense for a 51-year-old woman to do that, but a 20-something beauty queen?  Really?          

          What’s happening in her life is that she’s trying to live modestly in order to remain debt free.  When she sees high school and college friends buying big beautiful houses, accepting that next grand promotion or traveling to Hawaii… well, it makes her question where she is in her life.          

          I typically just covet the travel photos and waste away an entire afternoon living vicariously through whichever FB friend is off on a great adventure.          

          It’s not that we’re not happy for them; it just makes us question ourselves.  Come on, you know you do it too.  It might not be Facebook, but somewhere in your life you’re looking at someone else and thinking they’re bragging.  And, of course, they are.  If it were you, it would only be sharing.

:-)

          So, I started thinking.  If Facebook, or any other similar website, has the power to work against us…how can we come up higher and make it work for us?  These are just a few thoughts.

          NOTE TO SELF:

          -Boast only when boasting in the Lord

          -Never use “What’s on your mind” to be a pessimistic, negative, buzz kill.

          -Consider other people’s feelings when posting.  Not everyone reads with the same inflection.

And, just as I learned from the young woman I was supposed to be teaching…

          -Never cast any light in my own direction.

Light should only reflect off of us and on to the

One who is the

Giver of ALL Good Things!

          Since back in the Old Testament books of Genesis, when one brick was laid upon another to begin building the Tower of Babel, we have all wanted to be “somebody.”  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with fame, money or success, as long as we don’t lose sight of the Source.          

          Now, don’t get me wrong and think I’m getting all self-righteous and holier than thou, or climbing up on my goody two shoes soap box.  A quick scan of my Facebook Timeline would show more than a few “Hey Look At Me” postings.  And if you asked the former Miss America contestant, she would probably tell you I gave her an entire resume of my accomplishments the morning we met.  But I’m just wondering if I can start using Facebook for the good of others rather than feeling like it lures me into an enemy trap?

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

I Saw the Light!

          It was just a passing comment; “I wish Judah’s breast collar had a hook instead of a buckle.   It would be so much easier to attach.”  That was it.  The full extent of a statement made in front of a barn full of other horseback riders.  It wasn’t unique or unusual, I didn’t put any particular emphasis on what I was saying, I just said it.  In fact, I had probably forgotten I said it before I rode Judah out of the barn and toward the trail. 

           The next morning, as I reached under Judah’s belly to attach the leather strap to her girth, there was a hook.  When I looked up in astonishment,  I was told someone I had just met fixed it for me.

          And I saw the light.
  

          A hot ham and cheese sandwich was what everyone wanted when we stopped at a restaurant in a busy part of town.  The waitress was asking a male customer if he needed anything and we were shocked to hear him scold her for sorry service and bad food.  She looked embarrassed when she saw our expressions, but came to our table with a smile on her face.  

          Her demeanor did not change, even when she returned to the man’s table to bring him another glass of tea.  She kept her smile.  She kept her cool.  She kept her customers.

          And I saw the light.

           If I had only looked a little closer, a little longer, at all the words written on the school website, I might have found the answer I needed.  But it was storming outside, and before I drove my son all the way across town, I wanted to make sure the Back to School Bash was still on tap.  As hot summer days gave way to cool August nights, classes were set to begin in just three days.  The phones had to be ringing constantly as new students, parents, teachers and delivery service personnel verified important information.  I knew the administrative assistant would probably be feeling overworked, but I still needed a quick answer to my question.  When she picked up the phone, I could hear in her voice that she was smiling.  She could have been short, stressed and irritated, but she was sweet, kind and helpful.

           And I saw the light.

          Yesterday, I called (weeks later than I should have) to make reservations for an event that almost always sells out.  I already knew the main section was full and I would be lucky if we could still squeeze into a less desirable spot.  The precious woman, who tirelessly coordinates all the visitors and their various requests, told me they were rearranging some things and the owner had reserved our spots…all I needed to do was send a deposit.

         And, I’m telling you,

                    I SAW THE LIGHT!

           Every day, we get a chance to be light in the darkness.  It’s a chance and it’s a choice.  Too often, I add to the darkness with my bad mood or attitude.  But we are called to step up higher…to lift each other up…encourage each other…to overlook offenses…to give anonymously…to choose kindness over criticism…to choose patience over anger…to choose to do something nice and kind just because it’s the right thing to do.  

           I’m sure I could find bigger examples, more impressive ways I’ve seen the light lately.  But after each of these things happened, I stopped and thought about the fact that the people had made a conscious choice to be kind. It’s usually not those in great positions of wealth and power who impact our every day lives…it’s often the people we meet in traffic…at school…at work…at home. 

 We are light.  We don’t have to be, but we can choose to be. 

And then we get to be!

 “You are the light of the world.”

Matthew 5:14

 “Let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”  

Matthew 5:16

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Live as children of light.”

Ephesians 5:8

 

“This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine…”

Ha ha just kidding you can stop singing now. ;-)

 

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved 

 

An “A” Student

     There’s probably no one who gets in the way of what God wants to do in our lives more than we do.  We get in a hurry. We want what we want when we want it.  And when we have a need that isn’t resolved on our schedule, we lose faith and start to fret.

     Since this is so often the case, I am determined to be an “A” student in the study of Psalm 46:10I would love for you to join me, but, I will warn you in advance, I keep taking this class over and over again.

 He says, Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

     There are endless examples of times when I got in a hurry and made huge mistakes.  Times when what I wanted was the worst thing I could have requested.  And opportunities to be sure of what I hoped for and certain of what I could not see that ended up with me striving instead.  As much as I continuously try to tell myself I am not as hardheaded as the Israelites in the desert, I’ve been around this mountain more than a few times.  I want to pass the test.  I want to graduate from slipping down the slope of things that don’t go my way.

      And, there seems to be some progress, if only a little.

        In June, I was tentatively scheduled for a working vacation that was beyond anything I could have asked for or imagined.  The idea was pitched to me on a normal day when I was just doing what I do.  Factor in the concept of getting paid for doing what you love and it was almost unbelievable.  I was afraid to think about it for fear it might not happen.  And then it didn’t.  There were scheduling conflicts, endless phone tag, an injury, and it just didn’t work out.  The former “C” student in me would have behaved in a bit of a spoiled rotten way.  The aspiring “A” student sat back and analyzed the possibility that our timing wasn’t necessarily God’s timing.

     As it turned out, something happened that week that really required me to be at home.   I am so grateful God knew more about it than I did.

     In July, the trip came up again and His timing was PERFECT!  The trip was AMAZING!  And our lives were forever changed by many of the people we met…good, godly people who poured much wisdom into our hearts and souls.

     Last week, I had a similar experience.  My dad and I have been looking for a cheap horse trailer.  We found one, but couldn’t go look at it on the seller’s schedule.  When we could go, it was gone.  We found another one and it was so far away we debated the wisdom of it.  We looked at a few more and shared the laughter of What were those people thinking?  Then we found a beautiful trailer right in our hometown.  Everyone loaded up and off we went, thoroughly convinced we would be pulling that trailer home.  But, it wasn’t at all like the photos had depicted it.  I didn’t flinch.  I didn’t get upset.  I never even felt disappointed.  I was a little shocked that it was so different from what I thought it might be, but it was clearly not the one.  Instead of allowing it to mess up our evening, as I might have done in the past, I was relieved when my dad agreed we should walk away.

     We had a nice dinner, shared some laughs, enjoyed being together as a family and looked forward to our next opportunity.  Until then, I will remain a student of Psalm 46:10 and I will be still.

     Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t believe God is putting all things on hold in heaven to make sure our plans pan out, or we get something we want and think we need.  I do believe His eye is on the sparrow and His eye is on us.  I also believe He cares enough to use whatever matters in our lives to grow us and bring us closer to Him and closer to our completion.

     When I finished writing this I wasn’t at all sure if I should even share it.  So, I decided to put it aside and spend some time doing my Bible study.   It included a comment that sounded a whole lot like confirmation.  

God is always teaching me something because I have so much to learn. About the time I think I learned it, somehow I un-learned it. And here we go again.  The same lesson again.  Because God is going to make sure we get an A.  So we keep having the same test. ~Beth Moore Faithful Abundant True

      I guess I could have taken the title An A Student from Beth Moore’s quote but I had already written it.  Things like that just seem way cool.  Maybe I focus too much on the little things.  But I know He’s got all the big things covered, so why not the little things too?

 Is God asking you to be still and trust him?

Are you the one standing in Gods way when He just wants to bless you? 

We all do it.

We all want what we want when we want it.

But His timing, His economy, His favor, His gifts are always perfect!

Just watch and wait.

Keep your eyes on Jesus.  At least TRY :-)

He really does care about every little detail of your life!

     We finally found an old trailer and wouldn’t you know it, it was HALF the price of all the others.  I love what happens when I wait.  But today, tomorrow, or next week, I’ll probably get in a hurry again and loop around the base of that mountain one more time!

What about you?  Do you ever find yourself on this journey?  

Are you also trying for an A in this class? :-)

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

I Wish I Had Known

     It wouldn’t have done any good for someone to tell me the things I wish I had known in my 20’s.  I was headstrong, determined and still a little bit angry.  Looking back on life sure brings things into a different point of view.

     I wish I had known in my 20’s that my body was about as perfect as it was ever going to be. 

     I wish I had known kindness would get me further than competition.

     Could someone have told me that trying to control everything would hurt more than help?

     Would I have listened?

     I wish I had known some of my most prized possessions would be those that took thought and not money.

    Could someone have told me a career was going to be fun but not necessarily fulfilling?

    In my 20’s, I still thought prayer was part of my duty and not an incredible privilege.

    I wish I had known God truly is the source of all good things and the quicker I put my own agenda aside, the better off I would be.

    I wish I had known then that I really did have a soul mate so I could have avoided all that angst.

    It might have been amusing to know one day my son would say the day I spent playing a Jimmy Neutron video game with him still ranks as one of the best days of his life.

    If I had known some of these things, I would have worried less, quit trying to change things and relaxed a little. 

    Stress, anxiety and worry only make you old, even in your 20’s.

    The Bible says:

“In the day of prosperity be

happy,

But in the day of adversity

consider-

God has made the one as

well as the other”

     I’ve always seen adversity as something gone wrong…but when God is growing us… it can only be right. 

     Adversity does send me to my knees far more than prosperity. 

He never leaves me there.

He always brings me through.

I was wild and free

And no one could have told me

But my how the years have flown

I really wish I had known.

What do you wish someone would have told you?

Would you have listened?

If only I had known… all I had to do was lose one pound a year and I could have lost the 20 pounds I’ve been trying to lose for the last 20 years. :-)

Before I get any older, somebody please tell me something else I should probably know!!!

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

Search Engine Sanity

  (Audio version) 


 

         KeziahCarrie may not be the most memorable of website monikers, but when I was mulling over all the practical possibilities, it’s the one that seemed to have the most meaning and set the right mood for what I thought God might want me to say.

          During the mental competition that ensued, KeziahCarrie was deadlocked with Front Porch Swing, and every now and then I second guess myself and wonder if FPS might have made more sense than KC.  I’m a woman who contemplates things.  I analyze them.  I pick them apart.  I weigh the pros and cons.  I decide.  Then I unravel the decision and start asking opinions.  When other people weigh in, sometimes I listen and sometimes I’ve already decided, and I’m just searching for validation.   I sort of wear myself out.

          It’s the same type of thing that happens to a lot of WordPress writers when we start looking at stats.  Those are the daily/weekly/monthly/yearly numbers that tell us if anyone is reading what we’re writing…where they are in the world…what posts they preferred and whether they cared enough to click on the “subscribe button” and come back.  The stats can blow your mind in a moment, make your day and send you away walking ten feet tall… OR… they can leave you dumbfounded and doubting, teetering on the edge of depression and despair.   Such is the POWER of stats.  You try not to look and then you glance up and see the Stats button and you start to click on it, and then you don’t, and then you do.

          It’s a mountain I don’t intend to travel around for the next 40 years.  I see that sneaky snake.  And I remember the song we sang in Vacation Bible School.  Be careful little eyes what you see!  :-)  So, I cast my glance away from the numbers to the real reason many women have joined us here at www.keziahcarrie.com.  It’s the Search Engine Terms.  A column of information guaranteed to lift spirits, make you laugh and remind even a doubting Thomas that God has a sense of humor, and can send you straight to any website even if it has a strange name.

          Beautiful big houseskayak womanif I had the wings of an angel in prison walls have all landed women on this
page.  My sister’s smelly socks…. world’s most smelliest socks… and my son’s personal favorite… deadly smelly socks…may
have sent some men to this site.  I’m not pulling your leg or blogging about the pastor; KeziahCarrie popped up, as a possible
answer, for those Binging, Googling or Yahooing their way through these words.  How do you draw a guitarstand in the rain…or make an angry face in the darkness?   Happy people talkingGod dreamed you…and my personal favorite…handshake in front of the Christmas tree

          A donkey drinking oil painting may or may not be better than a gift wrapped in money but little things matter so reap investment in the long run.  There’s a time image, life memories and oddly enough someone beating donkey.

           Readers have searched their way here from Egypt, Italy, Australia, Indonesia, Spain, Germany, South Africa, Columbia, Trinidad, Canada, Singapore, Sweden, Jordan, the Philippines, Paraguay and some other places I need to Google.  I guess all writers dream of a mob mentality on their out day download.

          The Search Engine Terms surely documented to ease my wondering mind… two hits for front porch swing but many more for KeziahCarrie! :-)

          God is good, God is fun, God loves laughter and whether you believe it or not, He works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose… even if He has to use majestic white horses calling on a rotary wall phone.

 

 “A joyful heart is good medicine…”

Proverbs 17:22

 “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

 The craziest thing I’ve searched recently:

 How to stop a fat horse from eating?

 And you know what?

There are DOZENS of pages dedicated to the topic.

Who knew?

What’s the wildest thing you’ve searched lately?  

Come on, you can tell us.

:-)

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

Freshly Pressed

         Audio and Music version


          When I was growing up, my mother and grandmother ironed everything.  They would take their ironing board to the living room, change the setting on the flimsy metal legs so the board was waist-high, then sit down while they ironed, so they could watch their ”stories.”  Ironing was a thankless hot job, but at least they got to see who had checked into General Hospital or who was following the Guiding Light.

          I swore off of soap operas years ago when my son told his teacher I watched them “all day long!”  The only one I really kept up with was The Young and the Restless, and I only watched it because it came on at lunchtime.  But if my child thought it was excessive, it was time to stop.  So I stopped watching, but I kept ironing.

          I also iron everything.  Most of my friends think I’m crazy, but it hasn’t kept me from creasing my son’s school khakis or pressing my husband’s pants.  I even iron t-shirts, shorts and blue jeans.

          Wrinkle free clothing just looks nice.  It makes you feel good.  It’s attention to detail in a ratty old world.

          It would be nice if we could just iron out all the wrinkles in our relationships. I’m a fan of acting like nothing ever happened when it comes to mending the messes that I make and it works really well if the other person also prefers that plan.  But sometimes we have to put more effort into it, make up for what we did or said, and then try to move on.  Sometimes we have to push past our own prejudices and refuse to fall into that old trap of thinking someone else’s sin is worse than our own.

          When Jesus was asked, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”  He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  He didn’t say some of the law and the prophets hang on those two commandments, he said ALL of them do.

          What if we could iron out the differences between Republicans and Democrats, men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, Apple and Dell? :-) What if, as women, we were the first to quit pointing fingers at each other, to quit judging each other by some sin scale we were taught as children, to open our hearts and minds and really believe that ALL the commandments hang on the two Jesus cited?  We can’t condemn, we can’t judge, we can’t hate the other woman’s hair, dress or make-up if we are loving others as we do ourselves.  It doesn’t matter what we think of abortion, gay rights, paper or plastic.  Love is the bottom line.  We can love someone solely because they were made in God’s image or, better yet, because He told us to.  It doesn’t mean we have to invite them over for Sunday brunch. :-)

          We’re all in this together.  Even in the Garden of Eden where Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the Serpent and everybody was judging everybody else for what each one had done wrong, they were still in it together.  They had to learn to live together.  They had to overcome the blame game and who did what to whom or whose sin was worse than the other and they had to learn to love again.  As the World Turns wouldn’t have worked any other way.  They just had to iron it out. :-)

We would love for you to join us on this journey.

Just click on the little box in the upper right hand corner and

an email will be sent to you when I think of something else I just have to say.

:-)

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

GREAT Things Happen all at ONCE!

 


Audio Version

     The cell phone rang when I was half way across town running a routine errand. “Our cousin is moving to Florida and he has two horses he wants to give away,” my aunt announced.  ”He’s had offers, but he wants someone who will love them.”

     My heart pounded.  My mind raced.  And then just as quickly, I reasoned my way back to reality.

     ”I don’t have a place to keep one horse,” I told her.  “I sure don’t have a place to keep two.”

     ”Well then, find one,” she said matter-of-factly.  “And you’ll need to do it soon.  He’s already leased his land and needs to find a home for them by Saturday.”

     It was Monday.

     We hung up and I did what I always do when I don’t know what to do.  I called my husband and blurted out all she had said.

     ”Go slow,” he warned.  “This could be God.”

     I had been praying for a horse for over 30 years.  I was so passionate and so determined to have one, I was even able to convince my “city husband” to buy a house out in the country.
I had spent the last year praying for a very specific horse I really couldn’t afford.

     ”But God knows I want an Appaloosa,” I whined.

     ”Well,” my husband responded, “Do you want what you want?  Or do you want what God wants for you?”

     ”I WANT WHAT I WANT,” I said, somewhere between laughter and tears.

     ”Then the best way to know if it’s God,” my husband encouraged, “is to take it one step at a time and see where the road leads.” 

     The fact that he didn’t think we were all crazy was the first step.  

     Monday night I called a stable close to our home.  It was full.  I called two other places.  No response.

     While all this was going on, my uncle had passed away, and we were preparing to leave town.  I had no idea where this cousin lived so I called to tell him we might not be able to come see the horses.  He told me he only lived about five minutes from the funeral home and if worked out for us, we could stop by after the visitation.  On the way there, we joked that they were probably going to be run down old farm nags, and we would have to politely decline. Of course, they were beautiful, healthy and happy to see us.

     When I REALLY don’t know what to do, I ask my dad.  He almost always gives me his opinion.  So I ran to him.  He  just laughed, hugged me and said it was up to me.  

     But it was starting to feel a lot like God.

     We came home Wednesday night after the funeral and I called the stable again.  Despite being full on Monday, they now had two openings.  It was even less expensive than I had imagined.  The horses would need tests and shots.  And this process, I was told, usually takes a week or more.  

     Thursday morning, a veterinarian agreed to see them and return the tests in 24 hours.

     We still needed a saddle because, no matter how pretty the horses were, I couldn’t bring them home without riding first.  I found a used saddle online but it was in another town.  I called my husband again.  No problem.  It just so happened, he was scheduled to do a presentation for work that afternoon, just a few miles away from where the people were selling the saddle.   I think I knew, before we
saw it, that the saddle would be perfect.  It even cost hundreds less than it was worth.

     There was still one thing I hadn’t thought much about… how to get the horses home.  Three people had told me they would be available with a trailer if this day ever came.  But none of them could do it.

     Little did I know, my stepmother was already online looking and had sent an email, earlier in the week, that for some strange reason I hadn’t seen.  It had the phone number of a man with a brand new horse trailer for rent, and it was on the way between our house and the horses.

     I had no control over anything that was happening and yet everything was in control.  It even seemed as if each detail had been meticulously planned out in advance.

      We got up early Saturday morning, stopped for a few horse supplies (one of the greatest shopping sprees ever) and off I went with the
three most important men in my life…my husband, my son and my dad.  
We took pictures every step of the way and we’ve told the story many times.  I share it with you now, because I am reminded, God wants to give us the desires of our hearts.  He sees us.  He knows us.  And even after 30 years of praying, some days begging, some days crying, never really understanding why I couldn’t have something I wanted so desperately, God had planned double for my trouble.  I wanted one horse, he gave me two.  His timing was perfect.  The stars were aligned and we were ready.  While I didn’t get an Appaloosa, we did get a Palomino, the horse my husband had dreamed of owning when he was a boy.

     Their names are Star and Judah.  It’s been one year since they joined our family and it is still so surreal.  Some days I just shout toward heaven, “Oh God, you gave me horses!!”  Because it is true, good things happen over time, but GREAT things happen all at once.  Don’t give up.  Keep praying.  Keep asking.  Keep believing.  He hears you.  He loves you.  He wants to bless you!

“Delight yourself in the Lord

and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4

“But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart;

consider what great things he has done for you.”

1 Samuel 12:24

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

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Moaning and Groaning

          It’s an identifiable sound that makes my heart skip a beat or beat a little faster depending on its source. I’m not sure I can even accurately describe it.  It’s not the sort of sound that comes from someone who just scaled a few flights of steps.  That’s more of a huff and puff heavy breathing.  It’s not the sound that you hear at the end of an exercise class.  That’s more of a “Thank God, it’s over,” but “oh how good I feel,” sort of sound. 

          This is a deep, intentional breath, followed by an exhalation, partnered with a frustrated noise that seems to imply something is just not going your way.

          I recently heard a teacher say, “Even a sigh is a sign of displeasure with your life.”  

            And I live in a house with a husband and son who sigh.

          Now, wait a second.  Let me get the PLANK out of my own eye and tell you I’m a complainer!  I’m also a people pleaser to a FAULT.  And, when I can’t please all the people all the time, I complain about the amount of effort I put into TRYING to please them.

          But let’s get back to the faults in my family. :-)

          When my son sighs, my heart skips a beat as my mind quickly scans what could possibly be wrong.  I frequently discover he’s just frustrated because he wants to hurry and get his homework done…or his dad asked him to unload the dishwasher…or just because he’s bored and the weekend is almost over.

          The release of a deep sigh surely makes him feel better.  On the other hand, my pulse rate and stress level shoot straight up.  He walks away oblivious to any change in room temperature or Mom’s mood.

          When my husband sighs, my heart-speed accelerates.  It may be associated with 17 years as his soul mate.  His sigh translates into my displeasure.  Whatever it is, it freaks me out and puts me into a pint-sized panic until I discover the source of what I perceive to be his discomfort.

          He will frequently say, “Oh, there’s nothing wrong.  I was just taking a deep breath.”

          He’s sitting beside me right now and he just sighed!  So I said “Why did you just sigh?”  He replied, “ I didn’t know that I did.” OMG!   He recently had a total knee replacement and as I write this, we are at the doctor’s office.  My heart just raced through a whole scenario of possibilities…pain…impatience…frustration.  Nope he’s completely oblivious!

          IT MAKES ME CRAZY!

          I would have to be crazy to be telling you these things.  But remember, I’m a complainer. :-)

          So that’s the situation.  I’m not sure how to change any of it.  I just needed a way to return my heart rate to normal, and writing sometimes works. 

We live in a society of people who sigh and complain.

But, God is aware of what’s going on.

2 Corinthians 5:4 says…

While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh…”

          My husband’s response to this post is, “Every time you complain, we sigh.”  I didn’t hit him in front of all the people in the waiting room, because you must have a  sense of humor to stay married this long.    I’m even going to quit complaining about his sighing,  just long enough, to write a little poem.  

          In the spirit of  Dr. Seuss with my best Eeyore voice…

Do you moan and groan?

Or are you quiet as a mouse?

Is it just the other people

who sigh in your house?

Are you a complainer?

This I can’t deny.

Could the drip, drip of my words

Be the reason that they sigh?

(Don’t tell  them I said this but NO!!!  I am NOT the reason :-) )

And thank God, one of these days none of us will moan, groan or complain.

2 Corinthians 5:8 says…

“We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.”

© Copyright 2012, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved


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