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Quiet Time

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;

and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Matthew 6:33 (KJV)  

            She was a tiny little woman with long black hair showing significant signs of graying at the roots.  A maternal looking lady, with a baby wrapped around her body in one of those sling things, the first time we met.

            She handed out workbooks and told all those gathered together in a semi-circle that homework would require 30 to 45 minutes, maybe even an hour each day for five days.  We would have one day off.  Then we would meet again.

           This mama say, “What?!” 

           Seriously, a ladies Bible study takes that kind of time?

            Someone should have clued me on this before I showed up for the free food and child care.

            But as I started to look around, and listen more closely,  I heard some of the women, clearly Bible study veterans, talking about the importance of even taking time for an occasional afternoon tea.  Okay, well if that’s what works for them, I guess that’s cool.  I get that.  I wish I felt that way.  But at the time, I saw myself as way too busy…more of a grab a coffee and go, kind of girl.   A people pleaser on a manic mission.

            She had certainly expected such reactions.  In her calm, relaxed tone, which I already envied, she expressed a complete understanding of the internal conflict.  As the mother to a house full of boys and an unexpected baby at 40-something, she knew how hard it could be to carve out any time for ourselves.

            But this was different.

            This was time we would spend one-on-one with God.  She assured us that if we would make an effort, God would respond and reward us with more time than we really knew we had.  

          It was easy to contemplate, hard to believe. 

          But she was right.

          It was a little rocky at first, roughing up the family routine so “I” could have a little “me” time.  But it didn’t take long to figure out this is a bit of a faith-based formula that should probably be scientifically tested. 

            It’s been FIVE years since I first got out of bed, headed to the front porch swing and spent time putting God first.  What started as “Okay, Okay, all right, I’ll give it a try” quickly turned to a life-changing, life-altering, gratifying, fulfilling, successful bit of quality time.  My husband wishes he had it, my children help me guard it and some of my friends sort of hate me for it.  But it’s available to everyone. 

            I’m not a tiny little woman like the lady who gave me such great advice.  I don’t have a sling thing with a baby in it.  And my hair is not black, though it does have significant graying at the roots.  But I am full of opinions and often feel the need to offer them without request. So listen up ladies, take some time for yourself…for you and God…just the two of you.  Sit there in the silence, pray, read or study.  It’s easier than you think.  And, God will respond and reward you with more time than you thought you had.  

             I predict, your quiet time will very quickly go from something you’re trying to do, to something you have to do. 

 

“Now you come on and get up out of that bed. You know any time you give to God he will give it back to you”

~Myrtle Alexander

 (My friend Marny’s grandmother who lived 83 years) 

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.”

Titus 2:3 (NIV) 

“God doesn’t tell you to do hard things so He can stand back and laugh and watch you struggle.  He tells you to do things that He knows are gonna work out to your good in the end.”

–Joyce Meyer 

“Try a thing you haven’t done three times.  Once to get over the fear of doing it, twice to learn how to do it, and a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.”

–Joyce Meyer     

 

If you already take quiet time, tell us how it works in your life.  If you haven’t tried putting God first,  try it and let us know if things change for you. 

We would love to hear.   

  🙂   

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Faith, Hope, Inspirational, Truth, Women

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The Little Things

          There is a popular place in the city where people like to hook up and have lunch, but parking is next to impossible.         

          So as a friend and I perused the small lot a few weeks ago, the conversation turned to whether or not God cares where we leave the car. Right at that very moment a prime spot opened up, we pulled in and parked, looked at each other and literally laughed out loud.

            Sure it seems like a silly thing, a little thing.  But I believe the God who cares if you get a good spot is the same God who cares enough about us to make us park at a distance and walk, if that’s what we really need.  God cares about us.  He wants what is best for us.   We are his girls.  And as he works in our lives and tries to teach us to come to him, have faith in him, count on him and depend on him, then yes, parking spaces can certainly be a useful tool in his arsenal of favor for us.  We change from day-to-day, our needs change, but when we are submitted to him and his will for us, he works it all out. 

            When the Israelites got tired of manna, God gave them quail…when the wedding feast ran out of wine, he turned the water…when Peter needed to pay his taxes, God put money in the mouth of a fish.

            Certainly, if he thinks you need the physical exercise more than a particular up front favor, you’re going to be walking.  Or maybe it is your temper, impatience, a sense of entitlement or lack of humility that will have you hoofing it from the back lot.  Trust me, sister, I can testify to more than a few off-road excursions brought on by my own self-centered point of view.  I may be walking today.  The point is, he loves us, and he cares about us from the most serious need to the smallest detail. 

            Maybe it’s not a parking place you are looking for; maybe you would just like to know what you are wearing to work tomorrow.  He’s got that covered too.  And since he does, go ahead and circle the parking lot one more time.  He’s full of simple sweet surprises …and sometimes those are the little things.          

Matthew 6:25-26 (NASB) 

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they?”        

  The little things matter, the big things matter, but the condition of our heart matters most.  

What are some of the little things God has done for you lately?

  🙂

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A Gentle Spirit

          He leaned over and with a trembling hand, brought on by the early stages of Parkinson’s disease, he took a paper napkin and wiped the crumbs from the corners of her mouth.  Then, ever so slowly, he picked up a small glass of cold milk, pressed it against her lips, and tipped it just enough so she could take a tiny sip.  She picked up a Pop-tart, always strawberry, and he helped guide her hands so she could take a bite.  Each gesture was repeated over and over until she had enough and motioned for him to stop.

            She was barely able to sit long enough to finish the morning meal.  But he could sense when the pain from her deteriorating spine was beginning to intensify.

          He reached for a hand full of pills, and while her tears were breaking his heart, he took all the time necessary to help her swallow each one.

            By mid-morning, she didn’t know who he was.  The advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease put her in a state of mind where all she wanted to do was leave.  She wanted to go home.  But she was home.  So he would take her by the hand and walk through the house, pointing out the pictures of her three children, four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren in an effort to restore her memory.  Yet in her mind, she was a young girl again and  wanted to go home to her mother.  He would continue to calm her as best he could.  She would eventually let him lead her to the couch where he sat next to her, gently placing his arm around her shoulders until she drifted off to sleep.

            He lost track of time as hours turned into days and weeks ran into months. Even after a couple of years, he still kept her at home, caring for her as he had always promised.  

            When she could no longer sit up, even long enough for a small morning meal, he would pull a chair up next to her bed and offer little bites of her favorite strawberry Pop-tarts and tiny sips of cold milk. 

            Then, on a sunny February afternoon, she sat up one last time, smiled at her sweet husband, and gently passed away from him.

            He bent down, hands shaking, and gently kissed her goodbye.

 

“Be completely humble and gentle;

be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Ephesians 4:2 

Gentleness is not always a quality I exhibit.  While my heart is often tender toward those who need my help, my actions sometimes speak a different language.  I find myself being impatient, slightly irritated and having higher expectations than the person’s ability to perform the smallest of tasks.  Yet, I see gentleness modeled for me, in the lives of those who follow the Lord.  I thank God he gives us examples, and he gives us many chances to become more like Him. 

          Who models gentleness in your life?  Or, are you the model for someone else? 

“The fruit of God’s Spirit can only be realized in the life of someone who is consistently yielding to the Spirit’s work in his or her life.”

– Priscilla Shirer
  from Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted
 

         

“… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23 NASB 

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It’s Time to Leave

            There is a place I like to travel.  The first leg of the journey is sort of  fun.  It seems exciting.  And it gets my blood pumping.  It makes me feel better in the beginning because I never travel alone.   In order to take this trip, I must convince someone to come along with me.  Often times, I will have two or three travelers and we will take turns discussing all that we see.    

           It begins by packing the necessary supplies.  A little injustice goes in the luggage first.  Someone who has mistreated, taken advantage of, or manipulated me in some way becomes the primary target of the trip.  We “rake them over the coals,” then “sift them like wheat,” and if there is anything left we may “preach their funeral.”  It all seems somewhat safe at the time, because, as one of my friends jokes, “It’s okay to judge other people if you are right!”

            It happened again this week.  I wasn’t planning to travel, but I also wasn’t planning to be interrupted, inconvenienced and then imposed upon.  So, I set my sights on another trip…around The Mountain.

            You can read in the Old Testament Book of Exodus about Moses leading the Israelites around a mountain as they trekked through the desert on their way to the Promised Land.  When I hear that story, I always seem to paint myself into that picture with Moses and his wandering tribe as the one who would surely have known better than to turn an eleven day trip into a 40 year fiasco. 

            But here I am loaded down with luggage my fellow travelers and I will inevitably unpack all along the way.  And we’ve done it over and over and over again.                                                                                    

        We start with what the person did, what they said and how they were wrong.  Then we move on to how we feel, what they should have done or what they should have said.  And the further we travel, the angrier we become, the more justified we feel with our multitude of words. 

            But eventually, what some might call a conscience and others might recognize as the Holy Spirit starts to make me feel a little sick inside.  I forge forward more determined than ever to “beat this dead horse” before I have to accept it and move on.  I try to let go of the part of this trip that “no longer serves me”, but I keep on track until bedtime. 

            I get up the next day still burdened by the weight of leftover luggage.  And then I convince another person to help me unpack a little more.  But by mid-morning, there seems to be a transformation underway as my heart starts to soften, and I realize with a familiarity of sadness what I have done, AGAIN!  It brings tears to my eyes as I finally admit I have been down around this judgmental, critical, condemning, gossiping, slandering mountain one too many times.

            I want to take the next exit ramp.  I want to find the road less travelled.  I ask God to help lead me off this WILDERNESS TRAIL!  I ask for forgiveness, again, for enticing others to come along with me on this miserable journey.           

            I can’t change what happened, what was said or what was done.  But I feel certain this is no longer a place I want to travel.

Psalm 19:14 NASB

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock, and my Redeemer.”  

“You can tell you’ve created God in your own image

when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

               -Anne Lamott

 

We are escaping for a little Spring Break renewal.

A much-needed time of refreshing.

If you need a getaway but can’t seem to find the time,

I highly recommend Even God Rested by author Kim Thomas

I try to read it a couple of times a year as a reminder,

and a permission slip,

for the people pleasing person that I am, to take time for rest.

  It’s available on Amazon.    

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Enlightenment, Faith, Hope, Truth, Women

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It’s Just Girl Talk

                 A few times a week, as my feet slide down over the cool crisp silky sheets on our bed, my husband and son will hear me exclaim: “I LOVE CLEAN SHEETS!”  They will either laugh and agree or roll their eyes and say, “We know! We know you do!”             

          Maybe it’s because we have two small dogs in our home that believe anywhere they can jump, squeeze into, or find large enough to lay down on, is their own personal domain.  Or, maybe it’s because of mornings when work, school, soccer or basketball games override the necessity to make the bed. 

          Whatever the reason, clean sheets provide one of my greatest delights.  I just love clean sheets!  If you’ve never tried to find the fun in that, sleep on some tonight, and you’ll see what I mean.  What better way to end a long hard day than with something fresh and clean and, oh, so comfortable?

            Then there is the smell of my son’s hair…preferably after a shower…not immediately following a soccer or basketball game.  But you know that deep inhale you take that is a part of some sort of primal parenting.   A  friend explains it a bit better when she says:  “You could just sop him up with a biscuit.” Yes, it’s the hint of a scent only a parent could truly appreciate.  Of course, those of you who aren’t parents might try grabbing up a baby (preferably one you know) and just breathing in the smell of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo.  Ah, the sweet, sweet smell of innocence.

            I love the first bite of a pizza, the last bite of an ice cream cone and the satisfying experience that comes with pulling a succulent crab leg all the way out of its shell without breaking it.  Our family will fight over that last one.  I love to hear my husband’s voice on the other end of the phone when he calls for my opinion, my advice or just to tell me about his latest adventure.   I love watching the daughter, we adopted at age 15, now playing with her own child.   I see what can only be described as mother love.   

            I love the excitement that explodes inside the car when my son jumps in after school with his bulging backpack, busting a gut to tell me all about his day.   I love to stand on the top of snow-covered mountains, squish sand between my toes at the beach, I love an outdoor cafe in the spring and fall, the wind, the rain and the surf.  I love, about as much as anything, to bury my face in the neck of a horse and just savor every second.   I love campfires, kayaking, and puppy breath.  And, I love the sound of crickets chirping late at night as I sit on the front porch swing and take it all in.

            Don’t get me wrong.  I like beautiful clothes, big houses, fast cars, large paychecks and all the other trappings of our material world.  But it’s just girl talk.  I’d love to know… what are the things that you really truly love?  

          Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  

James 1:17 NIV

I like the way Author Max Lucado sums it up in the line of a poem from his book He Chose the Nails: 

“Why give a flower fragrance?  Why give food its taste?

Could it be

He loves to see

That look upon your face?”  

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Our “To-Do” List

          There is just something so sweetly satisfying about checking items off of a “to-do” list.  It feels like tangible accomplishment and visible success.  Sometimes I start my day with a “to-do” list that includes everything from Bible study to washing the breakfast dishes to taking out the trash.  Each check mark says to me “You did it!  You have achieved something today!”  But as I go through the motions, stimulating my own self importance with tiny little check marks, I still know this is not really what it’s all about.  No matter how many times I applaud myself for putting clean sheets on the beds, dusting the den furniture or vacuuming the entire house, it’s all just a meaningless chasing after the wind.  The dust will return, usually before the day is done, the dog hair will once again accumulate in the carpet and the sink will soon fill with dirty dinner dishes.

            So, I try to set my eyes on God’s “to-do” list.  And, while I don’t always get to mark off each milestone on a piece of notebook paper, I do try to take note of how he is using me.  Sometimes, it’s an email to a friend who is having a hard day at work.  Occasionally, a call comes in from another mother who needs me to pick her children up at school.  More often than not, my husband and I will confer on a work project, trying to decide if we believe it is what God wants, or if we’ve put too much ego in it and Edged God Out.

            All throughout our days, God is using us, partnering with us, and calling on us to help accomplish his purposes, his “to-do” list.  It might not always seem like we are doing something significant.  Some of the things we are asked to do may even be irritating and test our ability to spontaneously serve where we are needed.  But if we are yielded to God’s purposes for our lives, he will give us a “to-do” list, and he will equip us to accomplish it.  

          In a world where our lives can change in an instant,  what we do for God is what will last.        

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus

to do good works, which God prepared in advance

for us to do.” 

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

 

Can you pin point anything in your life lately that might have been on God’s “to-do” list instead of your own?

Do you find more satisfaction in accomplishing things for him than for yourself?

Sometimes it’s not whether or not God is working in our lives…but whether or not we recognize him.

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The Word According to our Dogs

          Eight hours locked in a house without a bathroom break, ten to 12 hours in the big outdoor kennel, an hour waiting in the car, or five minutes out of sight.  Each and every time we are away from our dogs, they go crazy when we return. 

            If you ever feel unloved, just go get a dog.  They will love you with complete abandon.  It doesn’t matter what you have done to them, where you have left them, how you yelled at them or the last time you fed them, each encounter is met with unconditional, anxious, excited love.

            Jesus said in Matthew 22:37 that the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all  your mind.”  We are in essence, gods to our dogs.  We are their masters.  They totally exhibit the kind of love I believe Jesus is describing.

            If we really admit to ourselves that all good things come from him, that everything we are and everything we hope to be is from his hand, how could we not just lavish our love on Him?  Sure, he sometimes pulls his presence back a bit, he leads us into the wilderness on occasion, he disciplines us and refines us, but he never fails to provide for us or love us right where we are. 

            Everything he does for us is for our good to draw us closer to him, to seek his hand of favor.  And isn’t that what our dogs want from us…our hand of favor?

            Of course, after a romp in the woods, returning home covered in “stick-tights”… much like us, and our own messes, they are mostly just looking for a little mercy!

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A Soft Place to Fall

         

 

          Five women squeezed into the little silver car exchanging names and niceties.  Everyone was eager to arrive at the destination, though slightly apprehensive, not knowing exactly what to expect.  It would be a couple of hours on the road with nothing more than a bag of vegetable chips and five bottles of water, so ultimately the conversation was bound to develop.  Once we moved beyond careers, kids, and spouses, we settled into much more serious stories.

            I remember well the woman sitting next to me talking about how her childhood had been tarnished by teenage brothers and their friends.  Boys with a desire to love, but no idea what to do about their lust, had taken advantage of her in the worst ways.  It was clear, her painful past had followed her into the future, as she made choices she later couldn’t change.  A teenage pregnancy led to an abortion, and despite being the mother of several children now, she had never been able to let that earlier decision go.  She was on this journey hoping to find peace with it, hoping to lay that burden down.

            The woman in the backseat on the far right had struggled all her adult life with infertility.  Finally, the adoption of two little boys promised to be the answer to her prayers.  But the boys had been abused before they came into her life and no one had ever been able to help them deal with those demons.  Their brokenness opened up some dark places in her husband’s past, and before she knew what was happening, she was divorced and her family destroyed.  She was coming along to escape the loneliness and find a soft place to fall.

            Then there was the woman in the back middle seat who seemed to have it all together.  She was thin, beautiful, and wealthy and wore the cutest clothes.  She had two teenagers and a very successful husband.  No one would have ever known, if she had not spoken up, that this man she married was controlling, abusive, narcissistic and her worst nightmare.  She had only confided in one other woman; but, just prior to this particular weekend, she decided she was tired of hiding.

            When we arrived at our destination, a wonderful weekend retreat, there were even more battle weary women with similar stories.  Women from all over the world, together in one place, to listen, learn, pray and participate in all God had planned for them.  No criticizing, no judging, no condemnation.  It was a place where no one had to hide, where many burdens were laid at Jesus’ feet, unconditional love was extended and everyone found a soft place to fall.

            It’s been a few years since I met those women, but I thought of them again this weekend at a similar retreat.  The words that remain in my mind this morning, the words some of these women use to describe their own lives are:

Abused…Neglected…Rejected…Failure…Deceived…

even Door Mat.

          We have all made mistakes or been the victim of someone else’s destructive decisions.  We can carry those burdens and compare ourselves to others, hoping somehow something worse will make us feel better about ourselves, or we can lay it all down and find a soft place to fall.      

Psalm 34:18 (NASB) 

“The Lord is near to the broken-hearted

And saves those who are crushed in Spirit.”

Maybe a women’s retreat is not your style.  Maybe you are not at all comfortable telling another woman what you have been through.  But God is always listening and he already knows anyway; so why not just let go and let him carry your burden? 

He will show you the way! 

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Poor in the Eyes of the World

             Black coal burning in a cast iron stove sent a smell drifting out the door and up the road.  As the wind blew it in my direction, I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.  One solitary smell transported me back 40 years.  But here I was sitting on my own front porch swing where the memory of my grandmother and grandfather is always present. 

            We called them Mamaw and Papaw.

            They were some of the poorest people I have ever known, yet some of the richest.

            There was a feeling in their house that no one was more important than you.  Mamaw was always grinning, always kidding around and always cooking.  You could show up anytime day or night and find a saucer full of sausage and biscuits, wrapped up in re-used tin foil in the center of the kitchen table, ready for the taking.  Papaw was always busy mowing the lawn in the summer or bringing in coal for the stove in the winter.  When I was really young, they didn’t have running water or electric heat, so Papaw climbed out of bed, in what I thought were unbearable conditions, to build the day’s first fire.  He went outside with frost on the ground and drew ice-cold water up from the well in a shiny silver bucket.  On hot summer days, he would draw up a bucket and hand us the metal dipper to take the first cool drink.  If I was really careful, he would let me lean over the side and look down into the deep dark well.  I felt safe knowing he was right there holding me.

            Their life in the country was so different from ours in the city that I found myself completely captivated.  My parents had more of the things money could buy, but without much money, my grandparents had everything they needed.  Hard work took precedence over romance, yet I never knew two people more in love.  The foundation of our family’s faith came through their lineage yet they never harped or hammered on all things holy. Rather than require we follow a lot of rules, they just wanted us to love each other and share a mutual respect.

            They were just our Mamaw and Papaw. 

            She liked pretty dresses and shiny brooches.  He was happy in bib overalls and an old dirty cap.  They were kind, gentle and giving.  While others often talked of what they would do with large sums of money, my grandparents gave from what little they had gathered     

            At the end of every day, when we were filled with all the food you could possibly eat, we would go out to the front porch swing.  We would talk, laugh, and listen to my three uncles play their guitars.             

            And as the day turned into night, when the air became cool and crisp, black coal burning in their cast iron stove would send a smell drifting out the door and up the road. 

 

James 2:5 (NIV)

“Listen my dear brothers and sisters:

Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world

to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those

who love him?”

 

Are there simple pleasures in your life?

What do you want people to remember about you?

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Love

     “Will you die for him? WILL YOU DIE FOR HIM?”

            The words were meant to be remembered by anyone watching the 1988 movie The Seventh Sign.  Actress Demi Moore, playing a mother desperate to give birth, is faced with having to give her life for the life of her child.  In the agony of “life versus love” she reaches out her hand to touch the tip of the baby’s finger…and he lives. 

            Love is what keeps us sane and drives us crazy.  Love is at the root of all sacrifice: Giving up something you love, for something you love more.  Love was at the heart of all creation and is the very essence and existence of our God.

            I thought I knew love as a child, loving my parents, grandparents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.  Then as a teenager I thought love might kill me as I loved with an innocent heart and love was not returned.  When I fell in love with my husband, I discovered the definition of a true soul mate.  But when I gave birth to my son, a love took control of my heart like I could not fathom would ever exist.  It was and is a gentle, tearful, ferocious love that changed the very core of my being.  Would I die for him?  I hope I never have to.  But, would I die for him?  Yes I would!

            If you’ve experienced that kind of love you know what I mean.  If you have never felt love that intense, you are not alone.  There are women all over the world who know exactly how you feel. And they hurt just as you do.  But there is still someone who sees your heart and wants to give you the unconditional love you may have never had.  Would he die for you?  He already did.  Much like the movie, he reached out his hands in the final showdown of “life versus love”.  Now all you have to do is let him touch you…and you will live.   

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

1 Corinthians 13: 4-6 (NIV)

The same God who loves his girls, gives us chocolate. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! Make it the day you want it to be! 

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