A Place for All Women

Archive for May, 2011

Hope for Healing

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.  

Proverbs 14:10 NIV 

            “I’m just angry,” my sister-in-law said as she was describing her feelings three weeks after her husband’s death.  Raised in a charismatic church, where modern-day miracles were not only prayed for, but expected, she had come up short. 

            While her husband’s leukemia had been in a state of remission far longer than the doctors ever expected, it had come back full force.  The family physician’s best guess gave him one to two months.  He died two days later on Easter Sunday.

            Who wouldn’t be angry?

            It seems Mary and Martha were a bit ticked when Jesus delayed his trip to their home after he learned their brother Lazarus was dying.  Martha, so anxious to tell Jesus what she thought, went out to meet him.  “Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died.”

            My sister-in-law feels the same way.  Where was God when she prayed, begged and bargained to have her husband healed?

            There was the remission.  And, even though doctors had their doubts, a stem cell transplant and white blood cells harvested from his sister did make a difference. He had almost four years of living and loving past the point where medical science would have typically predicted the end.  The two of them still had opportunities to share God’s word, to make amends, to be strong in the struggle and to escape the rigorous rounds of treatment through their shared passion of making music.  The Bible says our days are numbered and, within that number, God set aside time to bring them closer to each other and closer to Him.  But in the end, the time came for her husband to slip away.  He went peacefully, surrounded by his family.  And in some ways, that seems to be the ultimate healing of the heavenly kind. 

“We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:8 (NKJV) 

            But here she is, my sister-in-law, all alone and angry.  Jesus knew she would feel that way.  He experienced anger when he tossed the temple tables.  He was sad, and even wept with those who thought they had lost Lazarus.  And when the disciples fell asleep at a time he needed them to stay up and pray, he knew the hurt of being alone.  So I think we are safe to believe, He will not leave my sister-in-law to resolve the anger, bitterness, sadness and pain all by herself.  Jesus loves her, this I know, for the Bible tells us so. 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18 NLT 

If you are experiencing similar feelings…hurt, sad, mad, confused…lay it down before the Lord.  He alone is our rescue, our help, our hope, our healing.  Where else can we go but to the Lord? 

Just this morning as she was cleaning out some of her husband’s stuff, someone she doesn’t even know, sent her a card with this message:

“We give back to you O God, those whom You gave to us.  You did not lose them when You gave them to us and we do not lose them by their return to you.  Your dear Son has taught us that life is eternal and love cannot die.  So death is only a horizon and a horizon is only the limit of our sight.  Open our eyes to see more clearly, and draw us closer to You that we may know that we are nearer our loved ones, who are with You.  You have told us that You are preparing a place for us; prepare us also for that happy place that where You are we may also be always, O dear Lord of life and death.” 

~William Penn (1644-1718) 

 

© Copyright 2011, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

 

 

Wilderness Walking

                    The tickets arrived by certified mail.  I quickly signed my name and ripped open the envelope. 

            There they were!  

            The most beautiful tickets I had ever seen.

            The most expensive tickets we had ever purchased for a single outdoor event. 

            I couldn’t wait to tell anyone who would listen, where we were going, what great seats we would have, and how I would be counting down the days. 

            It wasn’t long before I was counting all the things that were going wrong.  I should have seen the warning signs, and got prayed up and prepared, especially after the computer crashed in the middle of the ticket purchase.  But I had such tunnel vision, I couldn’t even entertain the thought, that this might not turn out the way I had always dreamed.

            There were dress disasters, last-minute mail-order obstacles, alteration emergencies, work deadlines, a medical scare…even a death… and our family’s stress level was at peak performance.

            But the clock kept ticking, the days flew by and it was finally time to go. We got there and found our section but for some strange reason we couldn’t find those great seats.  We called for help and a young sales attendant was more than happy to tell us, “Oh your seats are inside.  You will be watching on a television monitor.”

            I don’t mind telling you.  I am still such a big baby with so much more work for God to do in me, that this little piece of information brought me to my knees in what Oprah Winfrey would describe as “The Ugly Cry.”  Forget that I was in the process of reading a Priscilla Shirer book about wilderness walking.  This just can’t be happening…not now…not to me…not this event.  This is too big…too important…I had waited too long.  “I’ve given up other dreams, not this one, PLEASE God.”

            Priscilla Shirer pops back into my head. 

            Book: One in a Million

            Chapter: Six

            Title: “Why Me

            Quote:“Do we want the Promise Giver, or do we just want the Promised Land?”           

            Truthfully? Right  now?  THE PROMISED LAND!  I know that’s wrong.  I know that is not the answer God is looking for…but this is THE Promised Land…this is THE KENTUCKY DERBY!  This is for my 50th birthday.  The Bucket List.  The #1 request before I die. 

            My husband, soul-mate and the one who keeps me accountable, reminds me God has a plan.  I don’t really want to hear that…I just want this fixed because this HAS to be some sort of mistake.  He makes calls, lots of calls. And finally a nice sales supervisor explains that these are some of the most desirable seats in Churchill Downs.  “Yeah, sure they are,” I mumble through another wave of tears. 

            But wait a second; my husband is starting to smile.  Hold the phone.  It seems God does have a plan.  You know He always does.

            Fast forward my puffy face to race day.

            A guest services guide, who was so sorry we were disappointed with the tickets, got special permission to take us up to the roof for the coveted Twin Spires photo.  Thinking back, it was the one thing I had wished to come away with but had been told it would be impossible to get. 

            While the people from the outside, sitting in cold metal folding chairs, were coming in to fight the crowd inside, standing in line for an hour just to place a bet, getting food and trying to find a place to sit…we had plenty of room in our secured area, no lines, high back cushioned desk chairs and tables.  There were giant television monitors where we could watch all the action up close until post time when we walked outside to overlook the finish line and watch the race from the clubhouse balcony . 

            But because of what seemed like a dream day disaster, we met and became fast friends with the ushers, the tellers and the security guards as the “human factor” of  this famous “horse” race began to come into focus.  I love how God works all things for good, how he has his hand on us when we don’t even know it.  But I hate, hate, hate how I always seem to require a painful wilderness walk before I can let God do what God does when what He has planned is far more significant and so much more than expected.

Isaiah 49: 15-16 NIV 

I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

 

James 1:17-18 NKJV

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of  lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.  Of his own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of His creatures. 

I still can’t believe I stood there…three floors above the finish line…an ultimate dream come true.

 

 

 

Psalm 20:4 NKJV

May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your purpose. 

To my dad, aunt, husband, son and friends who were dragged along with me on this particular wilderness walk…I concede I am still a work in progress.  I hope by confessing my fleshly failings I have in no way diminished real world problems that I know are far more significant than a birthday bucket wish. 

 

© Copyright 2011, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

 

Who Are We?

          Locks of long flowing white hair and a beard the color of freshly picked cotton have become his trademarks, despite the God-given baritone voice that made him famous.  He is, by far, the most recognizable member of the seven-time Grammy Award wining gospel and country quartet, The Oak Ridge Boys.  His “mountain man” appearance makes it easy to assume that maybe it was some sort of strange mid-life style decision.   At least, that’s what I always assumed.  But I was wrong.

            William Lee Golden wanted to see who he would be, what he would look like, if he was exactly who God made him to be.  He explains it this way.  “In 1980, I began to re-evaluate my life.  I began to seek to find the man that God created.  It just evolved.  I don’t have any intentions of cutting my hair or beard.  I am very comfortable with who I am.”

            I can’t speak for the rest of you ladies, but I’m not quite that curious.  

            My hair gets highlighted when I can afford it.  When I can’t, I still buy the cheap drugstore dye in a box, either dark blonde or light brown depending on the mood.  My body receives bi-weekly treatments of Jergens Glow.  And, I know they’re not married, but Merle Norman and Mary Kay make great partners in my make-up bag and on my face.  All lame attempts at cosmetic comedy aside…if we subscribed to William Lee’s theory, who would we be?  If we just surrendered our souls…ourselves…to God’s plan, how would our lives change?  If we just really, truly, thought of Him as the Potter and us as the clay, would we be willing to yield? 

            In 1907, Adelaide Pollard, uncertain what God wanted to do in her life, wrote “Have Thine Own Way.”  It includes the lyrics, “Mold me and make me after Thy will, while I am waiting, yielded and still.”  Who would we be if we allowed that much room for God to work?  If we could get past our control issues, our plans for the future, our preconceived lifetime goals, who would we be?  If we were stamped by God’s trademark and his words came from our mouths, what would we say?  Whose glory would we seek, ours or His?

            Jesus says In Matthew 23:12, Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.”  By submitting to the God who created him, William Lee Golden not only has one of the most famous faces in the entire music industry, but a legacy that will live on long past his time here on earth.

            Although I still can’t imagine us ladies going “all nat-ur-Al” it does make me wonder how God would work in our lives if we were solely surrendered and totally submitted.   

© Copyright 2011, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved

Momma’s Day

What do you remember about your mom that makes you smile? 

If there are no wonderful memories of your mom, what woman most impacted your life?          

            The summer before kindergarten my mom would make me take a nap every afternoon.  I think all kids probably hate the idea of a nap, having to stop playing and be still for a while. But I remember the windows being open in the house and the fan blowing on my hair and face.  I slept solid and sound and though I didn’t want to lay down at first, I sure didn’t want to get up later.  It felt so good.  It felt so safe, so secure and so relaxing.  Just knowing my mom was in the other room preparing dinner, doing laundry and cleaning up the house made me feel like everything was right with the world. 

            In my mind, she was a Master Chef when it came to preparing picnic lunches.  She always made sandwiches with thick slices of ham.  She included potato chips, boiled eggs, and Hostess chocolate cupcakes with the cream filling.  Sometimes she would even ice down a six-pack of those little bottles of cokes.  It would have been easier for her if we had just stopped for lunch.  But money was tight, there wasn’t a McDonald’s on every corner and it couldn’t have compared with the cooler.  

            I was a terribly picky eater, which drove my dad crazy, but my mom would sneak plain hamburgers to me, before my dad got home, so I would at least eat something.  It’s funny as I look back on it; I hated when she would call us every morning for breakfast.  I got so tired of eating eggs and bacon, gravy and homemade biscuits.  Now I only wish I could eat that way again. Saturdays were homemade pancakes and many Sundays she served stove top oatmeal with plenty of sugar.  I could go on and on about white beans, cornbread and fried chicken…that was fine food even for a finicky eater.           

            There were many times she cared for me when I was sick, injured or nursing a broken heart.  And she made many sacrifices for my sisters and me.  It’s easier to see all that she gave up, now that I’m a mom, too. I know even more the things I did not do for her the times I took her for granted and the times I didn’t help her when I could have.  But she allowed me to be a kid and didn’t expect too much of me.  I try to remember that when I get angry with my own children for not helping out.   I know she did without so we could have things; and I know she worked really hard to make us clothes and help us get through school.  I thank God for choosing her to be my mom and for giving her the strength to keep going when I know there had to have been many times when she just wanted to quit.  I am grateful for her discipline (all of which I needed) and for loving me when the punishment was over. 

            My mom frequently quoted the verse in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” She was the one who took us to church.  I knew, even as a young child, that God had a hold of my heart.  But there would be many tumultuous years before I would completely choose to follow Him.  I know there were times when she thought I had lost my way…but that verse from Proverbs is continuously proven true in my life.  God knows we are going to stray, especially as teenagers and young adults.  But He also knows that–with the right foundation, when we are older and better able to understand– we will be back. 

          My mom tells me I’m a giving person; but I know I wasn’t born that way.  In fact, as I watch my own children, I am often reminded that we do not come into this world civilized.  We have to be trained.  I spent years living a self-centered, selfish lifestyle, thinking I knew more than my mother did.  If I am a giving person now, it is only because she continued to teach me.     

          The world tries to teach us that the material things are what really matter.  We need to be skinny, young, pretty and have more stuff in order to be happy.  But true happiness is often found in the simple things, the things we remember. 

          Just ask a mom, any mom.  She will most likely tell you that true beauty is not found by looking in the mirror…but by looking inside yourself to see who you really are.  

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her;

“Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31: 27-31   

Happy Momma’s Day ladies

Take time to honor a woman you love!  

🙂

 

© Copyright 2011, KeziahCarrie.  All Rights Reserved