It was at that somewhat less than sane age of 16 when my parents decided on the big “D.” My precious mother had tried desperately to balance raising her girls with weird working hours and being a wonderful wife. But plate spinning can consume you; you lose focus on the fire, and when it goes out…well…he had already moved on.
So there I was sixteen and certain I would never be found in such a precarious situation. I would be A New Woman and quickly subscribed to (the now defunct) magazine to prove it. Friends, fun and a fast paced career were all I needed for my coming out party.
“I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!”
Anyone who didn’t believe me need only be around for mere moments to hear my opinions on everything from politics to religion, marriage and divorce, white or wheat and on I chartered the course. It was a good life!! After I scrimped my way through college, paying a lot of dues and climbing the ladder one step at a time…came the condo, the car, and the critical acclaim…yes, I was truly living in the moment. And I still advise other young women to do the same. At the time it was fun and fulfilling.
But something happened along the way…something I guess I had to see from the outside looking in. My stainless steel and bullet proof living led me to places where I saw the real results of living alone-away from the pack-unprotected-unsheltered-unloved-and unwanted. My heart began to change…ever so slowly…and really without my knowledge (otherwise I would have gone kicking and screaming) God began to give me a new heart.
Then suddenly I found myself barreling into one of my best work days and it seemed the force field was gone. I was married and eight months pregnant. I literally stood still, looked around me, realized how vulnerable this little life would be and I was certain then and there that the season was changing.
I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME NOW!
Despite what happened to my mom, I did discover you can have it all. At 16-years-old I set out to see as much as I could see, do as much as I could do. And I did! I have had it all, at this point in my life, but I haven’t had it all at the same time.
I’m no longer free and single but I have a loving, adoring husband who wants to come home every night. I no longer have the condo, but my favorite place in the entire world is the front porch swing of our little brick house. I don’t have the sports car but the SUV can carry much of what my children accumulate. I don’t have the fast paced career but I get to freelance for fun. And now, I willingly give up any pursuit of fortune or fame for this priceless time with my family. I am just as much of a woman, though possibly more powerful, if it really is true that “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” And, don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of things I really want to do; so I believe God has more in store on the other side of this season. Fame and fortune may still hunt me down and take me by force, but for right now…
** Where are you? Are you satisfied with this season of your life? Did you choose family first and maybe now it’s time to pursue the career you’ve always wanted? Where would you like God to lead you? **
“In their hearts
humans plan their course
but the Lord establishes their steps”
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)