If not for the 25th chapter of the book of Psalm, the confrontation would have come as a complete shock. But that morning, as I busied myself with the routine of feeding, mucking and watering, the reminder to do my Bible study kept pressing on my mind. I finally set all the chores aside and submitted.
The words written on the tattered and torn pages were a warning to my heart and soul. And, so, instead of going forward ill prepared, I put on the full armor of God and waited for what was about to happen.
I almost laugh every time I think back on it because, somehow, I think we all thought it had something to do with us. And, maybe, at some point, it had. Maybe there were things said, and done, that had set the course in action. But, in the end, as in the beginning, it was a test and God was offering us a choice.
I am grateful for the compassion of the one who had to tell me I was losing my job. I am grateful for the honest words I was allowed to speak. I am most grateful for the peace that passed all understanding at a time I could have chosen a much different path. In the natural, my normal reaction might have been anger and resentment. It would not have been unlike me to say things I would later regret. But, in the presence of a Holy God, I did my best to remain silent and wait.
There were bouts of blame. I mainly blamed myself. And, even though I participated in parties of pondering…who, why, what, where and when…I was quickly reminded to go back to The Word. The next few weeks were spent about as close as I could get to the One who warned me, the One who already knew, the One who would know what to do next. There were days of grief, sorrow and repentance. There were times spent praying for those who made the decision. There were messages of hope, sent periodically, by those who knew I needed encouragement.
At every turn, I asked God to please tell me what to do before I hit the deadline to pack up and leave. In response, God made me wait even longer. He showed me that His plan had a purpose and that He was not bound by a date circled on the calendar. He brought me out…so He could bring me in. And this time, I trusted. I watched. And, I waited. There were so many things He could have done…so many things I thought He was going to do. But His way has brought more happiness than I had even imagined.
Every time I am placed in a position where I must trust, I find myself promising I always will. But each walk in the wilderness is different, and it is always the unknown that leaves us vulnerable to the accusing voice that says, “What if he leaves you this time? What if he abandons you now? What if you are left out there alone to fend for yourself? What if you look like a fool for your faith? If this is your fault, shouldn’t you be forced to face the blame and the shame?”
But I find that voice can always be silenced by going to God, by staying in The Word, by watching, by waiting, by also recognizing the voices of those who try to convince you to do it their way.
This time I did it HIS way and I have in fact received an amazing reward!
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit.
If you are facing a time of uncertainty, a disappointment, an unexpected occurrence, or any change in your life that has left you afraid and confused, lift up your head.
He is the light. He sees, He knows, He has the answers.
Just wait. No matter how long He takes.
He may not be early, but He is never late!
© Copyright 2014, KeziahCarrie. All Rights Reserve
God of mercy sweet love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Hallelujahs be multiplied
Written by: Bo and Bear Rinehart
God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You
Music & Lyrics: Mike Weaver / Phil Wickham
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